Thursday, July 1, 2010

Insomnia

So I am up once again and it is almost 4am.  The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Aaron.  At least a few nights a week I would wake up at some random hour and be up for a couple of hours before I could fall back to sleep.  The difference is this time my little 11 month old alarm clock still wakes me up between 6-6:30am and doesn't care that I was up half the night.  

As I am sitting here on the couch I am thinking about Aaron's first birthday which is only a couple weeks away.  I am overwhelmed with how much God has blessed us with this sweet little baby and how quickly this past year has gone.  Everyone says that time flys when they are little and it is so true.  I can't believe a year ago today I was waiting in anticipation to bring this sweet baby into the world and here I am a year later with another on the way.  Aaron gets bigger and smarter everyday.  He really is the sweetest baby.  He is going to be independent I can already tell.  Throughout the day he does his own thing and plays really well by himself.  It's so sweet every now and then he looks up like he remembers he has a mom and smiles at me.  He is just now getting to where he likes to cuddle a little more.  He really hasn't been the type of baby that likes you to squeeze and hug on him for very long.  He usually has better things to do :) But sometimes in the morning after his bottle he will turn into me and and I'll wrap my arms around him an squeeze him and he just smiles.  My heart melts every time.  I still can't believe there will be a day when he is all grown up and I don't even want to imagine it.  I pray for the man he will become.  I want him to be God's man, a man who seeks God's will in his life.  I would love for him to marry a sweet christian girl, settle down have some children and live close to me forever.  That's what my own selfishness wants, but deep down I truly pray for God's will in his life and that no matter what he chooses to do that it would be pleasing to Him.  Even if God takes him far away I will trust that His way is always the best way.  It's easy to get caught up in my own hopes and dreams as any mother does, but as long as Aaron puts God first what more could I ever hope or ask. 

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